I HATE controversial topics. After pitter pattering back in forth in my mind all day I have decided that I need to make a post just to clear my head. I am not going to debate anything. I am not going to take a side. This isn’t about that at all. We are all sad. We are all upset. We are all hurting. America is hurting. It isn’t what it is supposed to be. I do not want my child growing up in this reality, and I know you do not want yours to either. We need to change it. This blame game, you don’t understand my side of the story BS needs to stop. We need to fix it. We need to make it better.

Respect. We can model and teach respect more effectively than we are doing.

Our country as a whole has respect issues. I hear people say that you have to earn it, but what are you doing to earn it yourself? We are not respectful of one another, yet we have this belief that everyone should respect us and feel empathy for the situation we are in. It’s not OK. People are setting this example for their children and it is only going to get worse. Respect works both ways. You have to act respectable to be respected. It is about your actions.

It is more than just respecting authority, elders, etc. It is also about respecting yourself. We are not modeling respect accurately for our children so they have no way to learn it. When you lash out at others verbally, physically or what have you, you are demonstrating a lack of respect for that person and for yourself. Our young teens in America think it is “cool” and appropriate to behave this way. We have set a horrible example of respect.

Before you act, before you open your mouth, before you type a comment on the keyboard, ask yourself if that is how you want to represent yourself. Are those actions or words something I will be proud of, are they something I want my child to hear/see/be represented by? Respect does not mean you have to agree with everyone and it will all be sunshine and rainbows. You can disagree with someone’s opinion and still respect them.

Bottom line, if we want to fix it we need to do a better job respecting others, respecting ourselves and teaching our children how to do the same. Respect.

Accountability. We can model and teach accountability more effectively.

We also have major accountability issues that need to be fixed as a society. When something happens everyone wants to point fingers yet no one wants to accept or admit blame. Even when something is a complete accident and truly nobody’s fault, people still want to point fingers. We have got to do a better job being accountable for ourselves, our actions and our words both good and bad.

Why is it so hard for people nowadays to admit when they make a mistake? Mistakes happen. It’s how we better ourselves. No one should be beat down for making a mistake. I make 27 mistakes every day. I admit when I make them, I learn, I move on. Be accountable. Model accountability for your kids.

Forgiveness. We can model and teach forgiveness more effectively.

This is two fold, you have to be able to forgive others and ask for forgiveness when you need it too. We love to hold grudges. Why? What good does a grudge do besides breeding anger and hate? People, we have got to do a better job of letting go and forgiving. How will we ever progress forward as a country if we can not move on.

If I tick my child off when he is in his teens, the last thing I want his him holding a grudge against me when he is in his 40’s. We have to teach them the power of forgiveness.

Back to accountability, when you screw up apologize and ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. It is good for the body, mind and soul.

 

Please. I urge you. Let’s fix ourselves. Let’s fix our families. Let’s help fix each other. Let’s help fix the hate in America. Let’s help make America what we want it to be for our children.

Let’s look at a couple of scenarios before I am done running my mouth. If my 16 month old sweet baby boy comes to me in 18 years and tells me that he wants to be a police officer I want to feel nothing but pride, not complete fear for his life. If that same sweet baby boy comes to me in 20 years with plans to marry (let’s face it though he is a mama’s boy and will never get married) a sweet African-American young lady I want to feel nothing but pride, not complete fear of what their children will have to live through.